An Exercise in Futility
by Lucillia
Summary: Kirk and Spock go to rescue McCoy from his least favorite task, leading the weekly meetings of the Aspergers Support Group whose members would generally rather be and most frequently are elsewhere.


Kirk and Spock had wandered down to Conference Room 3 to pull Dr. McCoy away from his duties for some much needed rest and relaxation. This evening, the esteemed and overworked doctor had to lead some sort of support and discussion group. Since this group was the task that he grumbled about the most, they figured that he would be quite happy to get away from it.

Peering into the room they were surprised to find it virtually empty, it's only occupants being Scotty who was happily helping himself to the snacks that had been set aside at a smaller table, an Ensign from the Biosciences division who was fidgeting in her chair which was back on two legs, and the aforementioned doctor who was sitting in his chair hunched over with a supremely annoyed look on his face.

Scotty - who was working his way through a plate of crackers with little bits of cheese and meat piled on them and those little wieners on toothpicks - was blathering on about the ship's engines, completely oblivious to the fact that nobody was listening to him.

"There he goes about the engines again. Doesn't seem to care that no-one's listening, like always." Kirk muttered. He rather liked Scotty, but there were times when his nonstop chattering about the ship's engines and anything tangentially related to them annoyed him to no end.

McCoy looked up upon hearing Kirk's comment, and with a wicked grin he turned to the young ensign who was now fiddling with some small object.

"Ensign Carroll, did you catch any of what Scotty was saying?" He asked.

Without looking up from the object that she was playing with, Ensign Carroll repeated the last minute of Scotty's speech. Verbatim.

"Bones, we came to rescue you from your job." Kirk said once Ensign Carroll had finished speaking.

"How would you guys like to leave early today?" McCoy said to the room's two other original occupants.

He got his answer barely two seconds after the words left his mouth. There was a thump as the front legs of Ensign Carroll's chair hit the floor, and Kirk swore that she must've broken several records in her race to the door. Scotty added a few more items to his plate before saying that he should be getting back to the engines before leaving at a more sedate pace.

With a sigh, McCoy said "I now declare this weeks session of the Aspergers Syndrome Support and Discussion group closed." as he made a notation on the data pad in front of him.

"I wonder why they have a support group for two people." Kirk mused aloud.

"Captain, there are currently ten people serving aboard this ship with that diagnosis, and another five hundred and seven currently serving at various postings in Starfleet. There are a further twenty seven attending the Academy." Spock said.

"Why did only two show up? Starfleet regulations allow a person to take time off of their shifts for mandated counseling sessions and support groups." Kirk asked.

"And, now we get to the point where I hate this task." McCoy said. "Starfleet command, in its infinite wisdom decided that the people this group was created for needed more social interaction, hence the group. While it is mandatory for me to be here, it is voluntary for them. Today was rather lively compared to how it usually is. If Ensign Carroll's mother hadn't demanded that she attend, the room would most likely be empty almost every week. If I had any say, I'd have shut this group down long ago. It's a damned waste of my time."

"Bones, maybe if you made more of an effort, more of them would show up." Kirk said taken slightly aback at the doctor's attitude towards a necessary service for those suffering from this condition called "Asperger's Syndrome". He would have to do some research on it since members of his crew had it.

"I've tried everything I could think of, from game night to handing out door prizes and still no more than half of them showed up to the same meeting. Three of them could be considered a bustling crowd based on past attendance. I think the only reason Scotty came this evening was that he was feeling slightly peckish and didn't want to go all the way to the mess hall." McCoy said.

"Other ships have reported a similar problem, as has Starfleet Academy which naturally has the oldest and largest of these groups." Spock said. "Providing incentives has only temporarily boosted attendance. Starfleet would probably allow the least attended of these groups to be shut down if a viable alternative for inducing an increased level of social interaction between those whom this service has been provided for could be found."

"How about a beer night?" Kirk suggested.

"Say, that's not a bad idea. I think I'll frame a bunch of medical jargon around it and send it in." McCoy said.

"I meant us." Kirk said.

"Either way, it could work." McCoy said as he turned to the door. "I'll just compose my report and bring the pretzels in an hour."

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Author's note: I saw the East Bay Aspergers Meetup group (a group where on a specific date members would meet somewhere like a bowling alley or other place and do something) collapse due to non-participation (mine included). Sorry for the self-insertion, I couldn't resist. (Ensign Carroll is me in just about any meeting type situation where there is a four legged chair in front of a table. If the small item had been a click pen, she would have dissected it after clicking it about a million times.)


End file.
